I have never been comfortable with the word resolution. It’s a little to rigid for me. Dreams, wishes, wants, desires, intentions those all sound a little softer for me. It is a new year and it’s a wonderful time to reassess, reflect, renew your life’s dreams.
A coaching partnership is a process of dreaming together. You dream and together we move you towards your dream, sometimes the dream changes along the journey, and the journey is always a part of the dream. I am offering a complimentary New Years Session to anyone interested in dreaming. Call or email me. We can do it in person if you are in Bend or on the phone if you are somewhere else. 541-389-0831 firstname.lastname@example.org
Its okay to dream. Dreaming is such a wonderful opportunity to really get to know yourself. Are you ready! Take five minutes right now and pause from reading this. Get out your journal, or use your computer to allow yourself freedom to write down your dreams for this year. What are your dreams? What would it take to create them? Who can you ask for help? How much time do you want to commit to moving toward your dreams? Where do your dreams live?
That’s a start. Five minutes of exploring. I wonder what the world would be like if each of gave a minimum of five minutes each day to dream. I’m going to try that. I’ll let you know how it goes…and if you want to join me let me know. It’s much more fun to do it together.
Here is a poem I wrote a bit ago, its related to dreaming:
I take up my pastels
in the stark
that is my life.
Green begins to
dance across the
and a smile
as a red flower
Delighted to find
myself in Technicolor
I glance up at the sky
as it turns a brilliant
blue and then
I turn toward
out my hand,
will you take it?
May the New Year be one of Dreams Come True,
Carol Delmonico Life and Food Coach
Helping Curious Individuals Explore More Life
My blog writing has been quiet lately. A lot up in my world right now, a lot unsettled inside. Opening to it all and simply holding it without knowing what is next. Not moving into action, simply sitting with “I don’t know. Not easy to be in the mud and sometimes that is all there is.
One of the things that opened up in the last couple of months though is that poems started coming. I have never considered myself a writer, still don’t actually and absolutely couldn’t imagine myself writing poetry until it came.
A friend was sending me an image once in awhile and I would let the image resonate in me and then a flood of words would come. A lot of the poetry came based on events, moments in my life and other words just came up and out in a way I have never experienced before.
Its not great poetry but it is mine and I am going to share one here with you but before I do;
As you move into the “Season” that for me is truly about gratitude, connection, giving, peace, serving, loving…taking some time to ponder, to reflect on these questions could be a beautiful gift to give yourself and the world:
What is my passion?
What are my gifts and how do I bring them more fully into my universe?
What am I telling myself that gets in the way of moving towards wholeness, vibrancy, truth?
If you want to ponder these questions with some support give me a call and we can chat about working together. 541-389-0831
And here’s a poem:
Sometimes words come like
Noah’s flood, the torrent
can’t seem to be stopped.
Other times it’s a slow
drip like a leaky bathroom faucet.
Either way they arrive seemingly
out of nowhere, where
else would they come from?
That nowhere that is everywhere.
The way the light bathes that
spot of grass, the wind that moves
through those trees, the bird call
in the distance and that very
faint sound of vehicles
Like all words, all of it
arises out of nothing,
a chance moment,
like when you drop
a pebble into a
still pond. Like that.
Many Blessings to you and yours,
Sometimes I shake my head at the pace of the culture, particularly as I watch myself, my clients and my friends having moments of deep grief about the pace of life, the technological disconnects, the consumer economy, the go, go, go, do, do do pace that is wreaking havoc for so many peoples wellbeing.
This quote from the Dalai Lama was posted on Facebook recently and really says it all for me.
When asked what surprised him most about humanity he answered, “Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health, and then he is so anxious about the future he doesn’t enjoy the present: the result being he doesn’t live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies never really having lived”.
We are in the middle of a train wreck. Our bodies are breaking down, relationships breaking down, emotions breaking down, and employment breaking down. The cultural model doesn’t seem to be able to sustain itself. I imagine we’ll hang on for awhile; fear seems to create a contraction instead of an expansion for most human beings and creativity and change don’t often rise when we are contracted.
Are you interested and ready to explore how to do life differently? Would you like to be more easeful, joyful and connected to life? If so, CALL ME and we can have a chat about that. 541-389-0831.
I used to think that we just needed to learn to step off the cultural train more often. If the train had many more stops–places to simply sit, breath, notice beauty, maybe walk a little in nature, stretch, read listen to something inspiring, take naps, smile laugh or (as Kurt Vonnegut put it so aptly in A Man Without A Country) just fart around– we could learn to thrive in a still-busy world.
I am not so sure about that anymore. I am beginning to sense we need a new paradigm; we need to live on a new track. We need individuals like you and I to step off the train and carve out a new way to live. We could look at consuming less and connecting more, at spending more time in the simple moments of cooking whole food, resting in a hammock, sitting in the woods, tending a garden, playing children’s games, giving freely to others, reading inspiring literature, or making time for whatever your heart is longing for.
Years ago I read a book called My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn. In this book he talks about the possibility of a world in which differences are embraced and accepted: a world in which everyone who wanted a fast-paced life could live in NYC while people that wanted to read poetry, take naps and grow gardens could live somewhere else. I am wondering if the reason so many people are struggling in our society is that we haven’t made room for other ways of living and being.
I do believe we need to look deeply at where the cultural train has been taking us.
- Where is all the consuming, overdoing, and over-thinking taking you?
- Are you joyful in this life?
- Is there more love in the world?
- Are you taking care of our elders and your children in life-giving ways?
- What are the gifts of technology and what are the challenges?
I recently saw a documentary at the Bend Film Festival called This Way of Life which tells the story of a New Zealand family that lives off the land. My favorite line in the whole film comes in the first couple of minutes. In response to the question “What do you do for a living?” He says, “I LIVE”. What a novel idea in this day and age.
What kind of train track are you interested in exploring so that you can put more living into your life?
Call me for a brief chat to see if coaching would be a good fit for you! 541-389-08731 or email email@example.com
P.S. If you like this post and you are on facebook or twitter please post this there!
Yummy and warming!
1 can whole tomatoes or six tomatoes cored and loosely chopped
4 cloves garlic diced
8 basil leaves diced plus four to dice as garnish
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup milk either cow or rice
Extra virgin olive oil
Parmesan cheese optional
Heat oil in a soup pot on medium high heat add garlic and sweat for two or three minutes then add tomatoes. Simmer for 10 minutes then blend the garlic and tomatoes until smooth. Add the milk and put back on stove to warm it up on medium heat. Add basil, salt and pepper to taste. You can add a drizzle of balsamic vinegar at this point.
Once warmed to eating temperature ladle soup into bowls can top with some chopped basil and parmesan cheese. Serve with a big green salad! This soup freezes really well.
Serves four with some extra filling for lunch perhaps!
2 cups pinto beans cooked or canned
2 ripe tomatoes diced
3 red potatoes parboiled and diced
4 cloves of garlic thinly sliced
1 bunch swiss chard washed and chopped loosely
Green leaf or red leaf lettuce a couple handfuls chopped
4 carrots peeled and diced
8 Organic corn tortillas
Feta cheese 1-2 tablespoons per tortilla
Salsa to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
1-2tsp. chili powder
1-2 tsp. cumin
1 tablespoon Safflower oil for cooking
Turn oven to 250 degrees, wrap tortillas in a towel and place on a tray in middle of oven.
Pour oil into sauté pan and turn onto medium high heat, once pan is heated put in the sliced garlic. Stir until just brown and add tomatoes, continue to cook for 5 minutes or so stirring occasionally then add chili powder and cumin stir together. Add potatoes, swiss chard and pinto beans. Simmer until swiss chard soft and everything is warm, add salt and pepper and adjust seasonings as needed.
Take tortillas out of oven. Put a big spoonful of cooked vegetables and beans on tortilla add cheese, carrots, lettuce and top with salsa. Serve and eat! Yum.
My work, the work I do with my clients, in its simplest terms is; to support them to explore, with curiosity, what it means to be whole.
I deeply listen, acknowledge, and reframe their words for them to hear themselves freshly. I gently question the stories, beliefs and norms they are living with.
“She who wants to have right without wrong,
order without disorder
does not understand the principles
of heaven and earth
she does not know
how things hang together.” – Chuang Tzu 4th century B. C.
Wholeness is being able to have right with wrong, order and disorder, love and fear, joy and sorrow. It’s being able to know it, to make sense of it and not make sense of it, to allow yourself to be moved by life, to be with all of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly and not be swept away.
Wholeness is recognizing there is a horizontal and a vertical plane in life. Horizontal is the human journey, all the doings we make happen, the vertical is our connection to source, to self, to wholeness, our sense of oneness, of life being more than just you. When you are connected to both, that’s called presence, when you are not that’s called disconnected. In its simplest terms that is…
In our culture staying connected to “positive” thoughts and feelings is encouraged and that often creates flatness. When you miss out on sadness, sorrow or grief and only allow yourself to express and feel the “good” feelings and thoughts you live a sort of half life. I am not saying that can’t be an okay life, it can be, but it’s not a whole life. Pain and pleasure are our birthright one cannot be fully felt without the other. Part of my journey and my coaching is to explore attention practices and ways of being present so that you and I can experience it all. I call that being very ALIVE.
Pause for a moment and think about a healthy newborn baby… that beauty, that wholeness…that is what each of us is. A growing healthy infant experiences sadness, pain, joy, contentment…ALL OF IT.
Last week I had the opportunity to do a workshop for a local business. When I arrived the leader came out and let me know they were running late and he needed 30 more minutes to complete a process. The workshop just happened to be in a building right by the river. It was one of those amazing autumn morning so I took a walk. Within a minute of stepping out of the building I saw a hawk soaring above me, an osprey diving for a fish, felt the wind moving though my hair, and the warmth of the sun on my face. I watched people run and ride, ducks and geese and dogs frolic in the water. In those moments I remembered my wholeness, I was connected to the world’s wholeness, receiving what life had to offer. I went back to the group and was able to give a presentation that was very much in line with what I had just received.
Most of you have been taught to believe you aren’t whole, you aren’t okay. Recognizing and acknowledging your wholeness sometimes takes someone else holding up that mirror, someone else offering practices to cultivate and grow that relationship with yourself.
Recently I was sitting with a client reflecting back to her how giving she was, something she didn’t see in herself, tears rose in both our eyes in the same moment, because the truth is we miss the beauty in ourselves as often as we ignore the pain.
Moments of wholeness are experienced when you are connected to something greater than yourself and at the same time as you are deeply connected to yourself. I imagine you have had these moments, my work is to help you link them up…to have more moments like that.
“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour” – William Blake
If you are interested in doing this kind of work call me to schedule an informal chat, with no obligation, at 541-389-0831.
In gratitude for my own sweet moments of wholeness, and to yours…past, present and future,
“I don’t agree; I love you and nothing needs to change.” This phrase came to me during a retreat and it has continued to be relevant and a koan in my life.
Learning to not agree and to hold others with kindness is a journey. It’s easy to be agreeable (sort of) I can be nice, easy- going, light, fun and I can also disagree which is often not seen as nice or easy going.
Does anybody else have this experience?
I don’t know about you but there are a lot of things, big and small, that I don’t agree with. I don’t agree with how the government spends my tax dollars, I don’t agree with our education model, I don’t agree with all the violence against women and children, I don’t agree with being called a consumer instead of a citizen, I don’t agree with the way we prescribe healthcare, I don’t agree with how often my son is on the computer, I don’t agree with power over structures in any form, I don’t agree with the western diet, I don’t…I imagine that’s enough for you to get the picture. (And don’t get me wrong there are also many things I agree with as well!)
I am exploring how to bring a different energy to disagreeing. The “I love you” is about letting the person/people I don’t agree with know that it doesn’t mean I don’t like them or that I am a bad person or they are a bad person its simply that I don’t agree with the norm, the story, the way something is being done or spoken about.
I can and do love many people who I disagree with. “I love you” is saying can we be kind and disagree, can we discuss something, disagree and end a conversation liking each other, knowing each other better, learning from each other.
The “nothing needs to change” is a way of letting people know that in disagreeing I am not asking them to change I am asking them to hear me, to understand and respect my feelings, needs and life experience. Often once I disagree things do change though because by speaking up I’ve changed, you’ve changed…life changes.
I don’t agree opens the door for more options, for exploring, for curiosity, creativity, conversation, for widening the lens you and I view the world from.
Recently a friend shared her experience of a challenging moment with her child. They were disagreeing and her daughter said “Mom you are an idiot, you don’t know what you are talking about” and stormed out of the room. My friend was shocked and angry but didn’t follow her daughter instead she took a pause. With some space she was able to see both her pain and her daughters pain.
Once she saw that she went to her daughter and said I don’t agree with what you said, I love you and nothing needs to change. Meaning her daughter didn’t need to beat herself up for what she said. Of course by expressing it this way everything did change. Because there wasn’t blaming, or labeling, there was a different level of understanding being held. They hugged, they cried, they healed.
Ironically change is the only constant in life…speaking I don’t agree, I love you and nothing needs to change (and of course it’s not the words it’s the intention you bring to conversation) is a doorway to conscious change, collaborative change…a moving from me to we kind of change. To be in an environment where it’s acceptable to not agree routinely…wow…I think that’s how we started here in the USA…and we’ve gotten a little lost.
Once again I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic…and yes even if you disagree with me. Let me know how it goes if you choose to explore not agreeing!
Call or email for a complimentary coaching session, give yourself the gift of deep listening! Or pass it on to a friend…
helping people who want more life…uncover it!